Something Amazing Just Happened

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Imagine that you woke up this morning and noticed that something amazing had happened overnight.

You don’t know why it happened, or how, but you no longer have the ability to make a bad decision.

From this point on, every decision you make will be the right one

You don’t have to worry any more about making the wrong choice, heading down another blind alley or wasting your time on the wrong things. You don’t have to obsess over the details or pour over the pro’s and con’s. You don’t have to feel the creeping self-doubt or the pernicious second-guessing that tear your confidence down.

You’re free to make the choices you want to make.

Of course, you have been all along.

It’s just that sometimes you don’t think you’re good enough to make those choices, or that you won’t be good enough to see them through.

The only difference between the scenario I painted above and the reality that making choices can be really bloody hard, is one of trust.

Trust that you’ll be okay no matter what happens, and trust that you’re capable and worthy enough.

This kind of trust is what I call natural confidence, and it happens much easier if you:

  1. Engage with the things that matter to you, with a sense of curiosity and playfulness and without expectation.
  2. Don’t judge things as right or wrong, just as how things are right now.
  3. Openly acknowledge that you always have the ability to set a new intention, make a fresh decision or chart a new course.

Worrying about making the wrong choices will keep fear, doubt and second-guessing close by, and those guys are real party-poopers. They’re the guys who keep you stuck and small, and if you let them call the shots you’ll always wonder what might have been.

But a choice is only “wrong” if you attach that meaning to it, and you have a choice about that too. Instead of “wrong” you can chalk it up to experience, count it as another important step forwards, pick yourself up with the understanding that bruises and grazes are part of any journey, lean into it to see what there is to learn or even laugh about it and have a great story to tell.

Calling a decision right or wrong isn’t helpful, and the only tragedy here is devolving yourself of the permission and power to make decisions in the first place.

Imagine yourself waking up tomorrow morning.

One scenario has you feeling like you can’t make a choice in case it’s the wrong one. The other has you knowing that you’ll be okay no matter what happens.

Which one would you rather wake up to?

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  1. Nice going Steve. Another synergistic hit for where I am and what I’m doing.

  2. So … I had this page open for several days (I do that a lot with your posts, read it several times over days & let things percolate) intending on making a comment, but then yesterday I closed it (deciding I was too busy/didn’t have time). & then, last night, you were in my dream (even though we’ve never met/talked) & it felt really important. So I figured it was a message that I needed to comment :)

    It’s true that we so often label decision as right or wrong – and that labeling can make it harder to make decisions in the future: self-doubt starts to creep in, and shame/self-judgement about thinking/feeling we made ‘wrong’ decisions in the past. But … I wonder (& maybe this is just where I’m at in my life right now) if it isn’t so much the fear of making decisions that stops people from moving forward, but what changes those decisions entail – i.e. moving out of a ‘comfortable’ zone (even though that maybe an an uncomfortable comfort) into something new (that may or may not be more comfortable). And wanting something more for ourselves/our lives also implies we believe we deserve more, and are worthy of the effort. And if we don’t believe that, making decisions becomes so much more difficult.

    I guess I’m thinking/feeling that there are so many reasons we stay in the places we’re ‘stuck’ (I realize I’m labeling/judging – but, again, only reflective of where I’m at/what I’m feeling in my own journey) – the fear of making (what we think is) the right decision is one part. But then, I suppose we get ‘messages’ from the universe (in the way of emails/posts/books we read) that resonate with us depending on where we are in our journey. And, I believe, we get those message when we need them.

    Hope you have a wonderful Christmas/holiday Steve :) And thank you for the effort/time you take to write your posts – they are appreciated (and helpful!) :D

    • Steve Errey says:

      Happy New Year Miriam!

      I so love your thoughtful comment, and agree with you. It’s funny how our brains work. That change you mention, that comes about as a result of our decision, can be anticipated, projected and expected by your brain ahead of time. In response, it creates stories, thoughts and feelings about the change, and that can add an emotional valance to the decision that you could label as “bad”.

      We’re funny old creatures really…

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